The Top 10 Signs Your Kid Isn’t College Material

With the pandemic forcing many colleges to go online next semester, many recent high school grads are taking a gap year.  Then there’s your kid, who should be considering a gap forever. Find out why with today’s list of The Top 10 Signs Your Kid Isn’t College Material:

1. The only thing they got on their SAT was drool.
2. They graduated high school with a 4.0…blood-alcohol level.
3. They think they’re already a political science scholar because they follow Ted Nugent on Twitter.
4. Their favorite summertime activity is licking toads.
5. They come from a long, proud line of people who like to ram their heads into things when they have a few beers in them.
6. Their SAT scores were negative.
7. They desperately want to go to Arizona State, but they’re deeply concerned that it’s not enough of a party school.
8. They just found out BA doesn’t stand for badass.
9. They like ping pong and beer separately but not together.
10. The only book they read this year is Facebook.