The Top Things Lobsters Would Say If They Could Talk

Today is National Lobster Day, so it’s the perfect time for this list of The Top Things Lobsters Would Say If They Could Talk.

• We’re not stupid, we know that pot ain’t no hot tub.
• At least I don’t have an STD named after me. Right, crabs?
• How would you feel if they put a picture of you outside a restaurant called “Red Human???”
• With a side of melted butter, even I would want to eat myself.
• I avoid pot. Too many of my friends died in one.
• I’d love to meet new people, but it’s hard for me to come out of my shell.
• Got an invitation to a clambake, think it might be a trap!
• Just so you know, we’re not all money hungry like Mr. Krabs on “SpongeBob”.