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The Top Reasons Fall Sucks

Today – 9/22/20 – is the first day of fall. Hear why that probably annoys you, with this list of The Top Reasons Fall Sucks.

  • Earlier dusk means that even when you can convince your kids to go outside, they’re gonna spend even less time out there.
  • You already deal with a chill thanks to your marriage.
  • The fireplace requires wood, and that requires work.
  • They have pumpkin spice EVERYTHING.
  • No more days at the beach showing off your dad bod in your camo Speedo.
  • Every retail store decides that we need to hear the “Monster Mash” six times per visit.
  • We’re more likely to be depressed¬† when we realize the only appropriate Halloween costume for us is some character Danny DeVito played.
  • The same reason spring and summer sucked: it’s still 2020.

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