The Top Reasons Fall Sucks

Today – 9/22/20 – is the first day of fall. Hear why that probably annoys you, with this list of The Top Reasons Fall Sucks.

• Earlier dusk means that even when you can convince your kids to go outside, they’re gonna spend even less time out there.
• You already deal with a chill thanks to your marriage.
• The fireplace requires wood, and that requires work.
• They have pumpkin spice EVERYTHING.
• No more days at the beach showing off your dad bod in your camo Speedo.
• Every retail store decides that we need to hear the “Monster Mash” six times per visit.
• We’re more likely to be depressed  when we realize the only appropriate Halloween costume for us is some character Danny DeVito played.
• The same reason spring and summer sucked: it’s still 2020.