The Top 7 Signs You’re at a BAD Zoo

Zoos in both Texas & Oklahoma are open again. And that’s good news as long as it doesn’t suck! Here are The Top 7 Signs You’re at a BAD Zoo:

1. None of the pandas know kung fu
2. There’s a special section reserved for women who want to feed their husbands to Carole Baskin’s tigers
3. The sign in front reads “Zoo/Taxidermy.”
4. The worker telling you that there are no more alligators is wearing a pair of new alligator boots
5. It’s just a creepy guy in a van showing off his 14 lizards
6. The monkeys fling poo at you, but not as much as the employees
7. You can’t see the rhinos until Ted Nugent is done shooting at them