The Top 7 Car Buying Tips

In the market for a new car? If you are, we hope you’ll first take a minute to check out this list of The Top 7 Car Buying Tips.

1. “Show me the CarFax” was funny for a minute, but now it’ll just get you punched in the throat.
2. If the tires are balder than the salespeople, walk away.
3. Paying cash is a great way to get the best price. And also let others know you’re a drug dealer.
4. To get some extra value out of the deal, go to the free coffee dispenser and slip as many creams and sugars into your pocket as you can.
5. Do NOT attack the dealership’s giant inflatable balloon-man flailing around in the wind because you thought he was making fun of you.
6. Wave a wad of cash in the air and watch salesmen crawl over each other for your attention. It’s invigorating.
7. Make sure the ignition can handle the weight of all your Classic Rock band key chains.