The Top 13 Tips for Homeschooling Your Kids

Homeschooling has become a viable option for more parents in North Texas & Southern Oklahoma.  So we wanted to help make that easier with this list of The Top 13 Tips for Homeschooling Your Kids.

• Give them plenty of outdoor activities to replace science class — like mowing the lawn, weeding the garden or cleaning out the gutters…
• Create a schedule specific to your family’s needs. In other words, factor in lag time for your hangovers.
• Nothing makes a better botany class field trip destination in Oklahoma than your weekly trip to your favorite dispensary.
• Keep to a schedule. For instance, start at 9:00 A.M. and completely give up by 10:00 A.M.
• Maintain a positive attitude about the fact that your kid is going to have to repeat the year and it’s all your fault.
• Hollow out the apple your kid gave you and fill it with vodka.
• Set a clear goal, such as “Doing just enough to not get arrested for child neglect.”
• Take the opportunity to teach things they won’t learn in school – like personal finance, how to fill out job applications or how to make a gravity bong out of a bucket, half of a 2 liter Dr Pepper bottle & some tin foil.
• Figure out a way to make attendance last a full hour.
• Pray that your child doesn’t actually want to learn anything.
• Gym class does NOT mean doing their favorite WWE moves on the trampoline with Dad.
• Don’t take it personally when your kid’s actual teacher calls to say, “See – I TOLD you that your kid’s a dumbass!”
• Three words: Ritalin, Ritalin, Ritalin.