The Top 13 Tips for Homeschooling Your Kids

Homeschooling has become a viable option for more parents in North Texas & Southern Oklahoma.  So we wanted to help make that easier with this list of The Top 13 Tips for Homeschooling Your Kids.

  • Give them plenty of outdoor activities to replace science class — like mowing the lawn, weeding the garden or cleaning out the gutters…
  • Create a schedule specific to your family’s needs. In other words, factor in lag time for your hangovers.
  • Nothing makes a better botany class field trip destination in Oklahoma than your weekly trip to your favorite dispensary.
  • Keep to a schedule. For instance, start at 9:00 A.M. and completely give up by 10:00 A.M.
  • Maintain a positive attitude about the fact that your kid is going to have to repeat the year and it’s all your fault.
  • Hollow out the apple your kid gave you and fill it with vodka.
  • Set a clear goal, such as “Doing just enough to not get arrested for child neglect.”
  • Take the opportunity to teach things they won’t learn in school – like personal finance, how to fill out job applications or how to make a gravity bong out of a bucket, half of a 2 liter Dr Pepper bottle & some tin foil.
  • Figure out a way to make attendance last a full hour.
  • Pray that your child doesn’t actually want to learn anything.
  • Gym class does NOT mean doing their favorite WWE moves on the trampoline with Dad.
  • Don’t take it personally when your kid’s actual teacher calls to say, “See – I TOLD you that your kid’s a dumbass!”
  • Three words: Ritalin, Ritalin, Ritalin.

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