Big Dave’s Top 7 Evil (But Fun) Holiday Traditions

A recent survey found Americans claim that “being with family” is the best part of the holidays. Which we all know is a lie! But there are some traditions I really do cherish right now, as you’ll see with today’s list of my Top 7 Evil (But Fun) Holiday Traditions:

1. Slamming the door on carolers.
2. Using a pellet gun to deflate the neighbor’s yard Santa.
3. Spiking grandpa’s eggnog then asking what he really thinks of his new next door neighbors.
4. That look on my kid’s face when they unwrap a giant box to find a pack of tube socks.
5. Making a gingerbread house. Then raising the rent so the gingerbread family has to move into their gingerbread van.
6. Jack Frost nipping at my nose.  Then suing him for sexual harassment.
7. Watching the rest of the street put up the same Christmas lights we’ve had up on our house all year.